On your 17th Death Anniversary, I made an effort to reach you or should I just say am missing you… Well, may reason be anything behind my letter, you just make sure you read this letter where ever you are, Mom..
It’s been 17 years you left us here, even without saying a bye. Since then life has changed, completely. I am no more a Badmash kid who gave nightmares to you, because all you left for me was Responsibilities. It was a roller coaster ride, fun & exhausting! Dad & angelic demon, I mean your beloved son, are same, as they were or as you left them. Also there is a surprise for you that I have younger one at home who is more than a son to me or my favourite toy which god sent exclusively for me; rather I must say your replacement. Are you wondering how did this happen? Hold on, am not married yet, am too young for marriage. He is your husband’s second wife’s son. Now don’t be mad at Dad, it was not his choice, he was in need of a partner to continue his journey, where u ditched him half a way. But he is an unlucky man or bitterly said as a mad wanderer who is still alone, poor guy was ditched again. She divorced him. But left a precious gift for us who holds us all together today. So that’s about us. Between how are u? What you doing? Are you still teaching? One thing am sure about, where ever you are you will be a rebel!
Time when you think of visiting us, don’t go to Hassan, no more we live there. Guess where we are? Bangalore! Finally we moved to this city after my graduation here. I work & have my own shelter here. Oh, are you thinking that I might be a doctor or an engineer. No Mom, not that!!!!! Am sorry, not even preparation for IAS. All I want to say is I am still a explorer, I don’t want to settle for small things. And you will be shocked if I say am into cinema making & events. Also now hosting TV shows & people now recognize when I walk on streets. Ha ha! I know you are confused with my decisions in life; all I want to say is I just took life has it unfolded. Am just like you Mom, Tuff like a hurricane.
And please don’t ask about son’s carrier, He is just mad. One day he wants to be a hero, other day police & next day a business man. Am tired of making him understand the importance of time. If possible you convey him the message in some way, but let me tell you that cute puppy face kid is now a grown up handsome Guy. His girl friend’s list continues & he mastered art of flirting. You know what, at least I remember talking to you & your scoldings but he has no memory of yours to live with… He misses u a lot!
Do you want to know how I look? If you have a mirror around, just look at yourself, that’s how I exactly look. Thank you for making me so beautiful. When I wear your saree & step out, dad sees me with teary eyes, thinking of you & says I just look like you. Hope you were here to see me growing… I always imagine you here & click pictures with matching clothes in my own dream world. Well, who knows we might just look like sisters then… I miss u & how?!
Things are not same & ravishing after u left us, it’s just been a battle field. Do you know when I missed you the most?… When I first learnt to wear a saree, When I performed on stage, when I wanted to learn cooking, When I got my first salary, When I First went to abroad on work, When a guy proposed me, When I go shopping alone, When I am recognised for work & good conduct and at all those happy times, because I have no one around to celebrate my win. I consoled myself in most of the times, imagining you within me. As a kid I definitely missed u for lollipops & Barbie dolls but I couldn’t handle your absence when I entered my teenage. You have no idea how I surpassed each day with changing body & mind set. I landed up being a coward fighter & an ugly duck. Can’t blame dad, because he gave all he had but I was in need of only one thing, that’s you, Mom! Just you! Somehow energy within me helped me to sail through situation & overcome the struggle. Later I realized The genes which you left in my body supplied me energy to face the storms. I don’t want to talk about those struggles I faced, I know no mother can take the pain in her daughter’s life, so let me keep my adventures ride to myself. What so ever situation was, I won them all & now I stand so strong that nothing can break me. Again after all, am your daughter, A rebel!
All right let me quickly give you latest updates about current scenario, We no more own that house which you bought, dad sold it. And school which dad started for you are now closed due to circumstances, I tried converting it to a factory but scarcity of water. Dad has lost lot of weight, I think you will not recognize if you see him now, He met with paralysis stroke so. None of us took your government job…. Oh, congratulation! You became grandmother long ago. Most of your nieces & nephews are parent now. Mine would be the next marriage in your family only if I make my mind. Your mother is not so well, she is losing her memory slowly. All your brothers & sisters are good. I am blessed with some great friends & mentors, who tried filling your absence. I am an entrepreneur, also planning to take up IAS exams as soon as Mithun takes house responsibilities. Most interesting one is when I happen to meet your students accidently, they enquire about you, and nobody believes that you are no more, even after 17 years… That’s it….
You missed most important moments here, everyone remembers you in each celebration. I must say to you that your family took care of me & Mithun well, when you passed away. And Bhagya atte was there with us for some time. Also when I shifted to Bangalore for Graduation studies, Chikkamma helped a lot, she took care of me. So you don’t forget to thank them all.
Now I come to important matter of my letter, am tired of missing you & those silent nights tears rolling on my cheeks, am done with feeling helpless & left lonely, am sick of fighting alone & hiding my pain. People appreciate me for being self made & successful but I don’t want all those title at cost of loosing you. So you make sure you will compensate for the loss & make it up in our next birth. I am not letting you go anywhere in our next meet. Enough is enough you just can’t leave us & go, am eager to meet you soon. I have listened to so many stories about your hardships, cooking & teaching. Let time fly soon & we meet again.
Please convey my regards to both the grandfathers, am sure you three are together & having a good time.. Write a reply if possible.. Look forward to see you soon, you are being missed.. Love you.. bye..